how has body positivity helped me recover from an eating disorder?
From getting bullied at school to comparing myself to Instagram models, my teenage years have been difficult.
I was still developing my confidence, but that didn’t seem to matter: If my mom or any of my friends made a comment about how I looked, their words would haunt me for days. If I saw a thin girl on social media, I would rush to the big mirror behind my door and change my clothes, for hours, to try to look skinny. Even worse, I would rush to the bathroom and try to force myself to vomit.
It took me a while to understand that I didn’t deserve to compare my body to somebody else’s. Thankfully, today, I’m able to love all my cellulite, belly rolls, and stretch marks. All the little things that make me who I am.
I would not have been able to embrace my past insecurities without the body positivity movement. This online movement has the goal of aggregating pictures of women (most of the time women but also men) that look different from the beauty standard. In my opinion, this movement in no shape or form is here to bash on beauty standards; quite contrary, its goal is for everyone to love their body—even models if that’s how they want to look. The movement is about standing up for everyone: small, medium, large, extra-large, extra-small...you name it! And no, it does not promote obesity or unhealthy habits because body sizes cannot measure health.
Body positivity seemed all flowery before a new party came in: body neutrality. This idea has been advocated by Jameela Jamil and has been gaining strength since then. The fundamental difference between body neutrality and positivity movements is that we now realize that not everyone is going to love their bodies, but we should at least not hate them. Those concepts are not far from each other though as both movements are part of the same fight, but just in different life stages. I didn’t wake up one day, look at my stretch marks and think, “wow, this is beautiful”. I started by not loathing them and, in the end, grew enough confidence to love my marks. I’d like to think that they’re a picture of my own journey of growth— some kind of natural tattoos.
My experience with body dysmorphia as a teen was challenging due to the stigma around eating disorders. I was aware about anorexia and bulimia but had never heard of binge eating disorder (what I experienced). I had an incorrect conception that in order to have an eating disorder, I had to be skeletal or pass out after not eating for days. Yet, eating disorders come in all shapes and forms. They connect to perfectionism, anxiety, and stress and can’t be easily diagnosed. If you overthink your food in a way that makes you stressed, you might have to check with a professional: even if you weigh more than 90lbs.
After a long and arduous journey, I have realized that I can focus on my eating disorder through developing a certain mindset, rather than focusing on my appearance. And, more importantly, I’ve been able to appreciate all parts that make me who I am.
We can support teens’ by showing them that all bodies are beautiful. Let’s be body neutral or positive. It doesn’t matter which one. Let’s embark on a journey of self-love and acceptance. We can motivate those around us to do the same!
*Giulia is the owner of @body.positvity.here—check them out!